Thursday, February 5, 2009
Taking responsibility
Ok, so here I am sitting on the computer, STILL. Neglecting my children. They are glued to the tube, except little Donna who is somewhat content just to be in my arms. Leo has gone to his support group twice, is feeling like he is being successful. Give me a break, two times? It is gonna take way more than two times to "prove" to me that he is serious. I seem to be getting deeper and deeper into a depressing funk that I can't seem to get out of. I did shower today, one success. I planned to meet with the church ladies this morning for our weekly get together, but found a reason not to go and didn't answer the phone when they called to see if I was coming...... I am not being the mom that I should be right now, but I can't seem to "log off" and give them my much needed attention. I hate who I have become. I know that I CAN be a good mommy, and that I NEED to be a good mommy, so I guess I need to take responsibility and "just do it" turn the computer off, and attempt to be present for my kids. Fake it till you make It right??
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1 comment:
You are not alone. I saw your post on LDSAR. Wow, I could have written your posts. It is all so familiar. You touched a raw nerve with me when you talked about not using your husband's problems to justify yours. It is so hard and I have to say I do think a lot of it is his fault. Maybe that is just where I am right now. This is a very hard thing to deal with. It is heart breaking and I get so tired of it all. You are right though, I think there are MANY "good" men in the church struggling with this addiction. Sometimes I hate them for it, but I guess I have a long way to go ;o0 How blessed you are to have a support group close....so blessed.
much love,
"robin"
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