Here we go again

Will it ever end? Will I ever be able to be a kind nice trusting wife? Can I be a good mom? Can I be a decent daughter/sister/friend if I am always being so angry? I have been pretty depressed as of late, like 5 or six months. I have gained about 20 pounds, and that certainly isn't pretty on my already heavy body. I sit at this computer all day, trying to find some kind of peace, some kind of happiness. I have found my own little addiction! The computer, face book, BLOGS. I am obsessed with blogs, all kinds, but mostly about people with hardships, sick babies and such. I guess I am grateful for the trials that I have, but damn, I hate it. Is my husband sincere? Leo is still plugging along, not using the tools that have been suggested for him. Recently we decided that it would be a good idea to do the 12 step addiction recovery program that is offered by our church www.mormon.org , www.provientliving.org It is a free program that is offered every day except Sunday and Monday. The program provides support for the addict as well as the spouse. Well, Leo went to a meeting a couple weeks ago, and said that it was "good" thought that I should come with him sometime, I say absolutely! I would love to come. Leo, what are we going to do with the kids? Well, since this is his deal, it is totally up to him to find a babysitter etc. Well, tonight, we talk, and he is like, I thought I would go to the support group tomorrow, is that OK with you? um, yeah, were you going to invite me? We don't have any money, so I though I would just go tomorrow night. Hmmm OK. I read a blog that had a post about porn addicts and should we stay married blah blah blah, and Leo was like, I am glad that you have some sort of outlet...... OUTLET? I thought that you were going to take me with you to your support group, but I guess not. Sincere? we shall see.